


Stay High (habits)

by i_write_hurt_not_comfort



Category: Pandora Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Coming Out, Confessions, Drinking, Drugs, Drunken Confessions, House Party, Love Confessions, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Weed, but you never see either, fic swap, gil gets high basically, hints of breakbert, hints of ozbert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-03-30 00:35:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19031164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_write_hurt_not_comfort/pseuds/i_write_hurt_not_comfort
Summary: In which Gilbert smokes weed for the first time, and Break learns something he would've never learnt from a sober Gilbert.





	Stay High (habits)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bagel_San](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bagel_San/gifts).



> heyo so here's the nth fic swap between me and jack. prompt was gilbert getting high, and i threw a little breakbert angst in there too.  
> content warnings: drug use, mentions of drinking, coming out, drunk confessions, mentions of ozbert  
> enjoy!
> 
> (disclaimer: i do not own Pandora Hearts)

Break had never seen Gilbert so upset about something before.

In all fairness, it was a little unfair – if you asked him – for Oz to break up with him, _over text_ , at a party. And Break had seen Gilbert cry a _lot_ (he was a huge cry baby and everyone knew it), so he knew it must have hurt him. Double that with the fact Gilbert was already a bit tipsy (read: he’d sipped through the third of a beer), and he was _beyond_ an emotional mess.

“There, there, Gil~” Break tried not to sound like he was mocking him. He failed. “You can do better than Oz, you know.”

“No I can’t…” Gilbert sobbed, burying his face in his hands and muffling his sniffs.

“Rest assured, I am sure he had reason,” Break tried. At least _that_ one wasn’t a lie. Oz’s home life had always been a mystery to them, even since they were kids.

“Yeah…” the other sobbed, wiping his eyes dry only for more tears to fall straight after. “It’s… probably best f-for… for him.”

“Come on,” Break sighed, downing the rest of his vodka (he’d need it), before slamming the cup down on the table and leading Gilbert through the crowds of teens and out the house. Granted, he’d never even wanted to go in the first place, but at the age of 17, if you _didn’t_ show up to the house parties, you were socially irrelevant. So, they’d gone.

And now, they were leaving.

Although drunk himself, Break was far more coherent than Gilbert, who was staggering down the street. It was mid-summer, so even if it was past midnight, it was still just under 20 degrees.

The night felt too young to Break to be over.

“Say, Gil,” Break chimed, a devious smirk tugging at his lips as he remembered the little _treat_ he’d bought earlier that evening. “Let’s go to the park~”

“Uh?” Gilbert stammered, suspiciously following Break down the small alley, across the field, and to the deserted park. Perching on the swings, he waited patiently, as Break pulled out rolling paper, and a small bag of tobacco.

When he actually _opened_ the bag, and the smell hit him, Gilbert realised _that wasn’t tobacco._

“Um…” he said, instantly sobering up. “A-Are you sure that’s legal?”

“Absolutely not!” Break quipped, rolling the joint swiftly, before sticking it between his lips and patting his pockets for the lighter. “You see, you’ve been awfully down since your _little_ break-up, so I couldn’t help but think you might want a small _pick-me-up_ ~”

Gilbert felt his blood run _cold_.

He’d never done drugs before. The thought hadn’t even occurred to him. Sure, he’d drank alcohol. Sure, he’d (reluctantly – _thanks peer pressure_ ) smoked cigarettes before. But drugs? Never. He’d never even _wanted_ to. He knew other kids his age smoked pot, but something about being stoned and acting like a drunk vegetable had never appealed to him.

And of course, he _knew_ Break _had_ done drugs – _many times –_ but… he’d never tried to get Gilbert involved.

“Want a hit?” Break asked through his teeth. Flicking on the lighter, he slowly held the flame up to the tip of the joint, his other hand shielding the wind as he inhaled briefly. The paper at the end of joint quickly fizzled away at the flame, crumbling into embers before erupting into smoke when he took the first drag.

Gilbert had to say, he was _mesmerised_ by it. The smoke, constantly streaming from the tip of it, merged perfectly with the smoke Break exhaled, floating up towards the sky.

The smell, though, was disgusting.

“Uh…” He never gave an answer. Eventually, Break gave up waiting, sucking on the joint one last time before passing it to Gilbert.

Despite not particularly trusting Break, Gilbert took the joint between two fingers, staring tentatively down at it. He _probably_ wouldn’t die from this, right?

Besides, Break was right; _that_ text from Oz was still fresh in his mind and weighing him down. Anything which would distract him was worth it.

So, hesitantly, Gilbert lifted the joint to his lips, and inhaled.

His initial reflex was to cough, and _gag_ , almost. Cigarettes were _nothing_ like this. _This_ was thicker, and tasted _gross_. But the moment it reached his head, under five seconds later, the heaviness which had consumed him was just… alleviated. His mind and body felt at ease – spare the tickling in his throat, still residing.

“Told you~” Break snickered, taking the joint from Gilbert when he forgot to pass it on and swaying as he took another hit. Then, he passed it back to Gilbert.

“It feels… weird,” he said, attempting to take a slightly smoother drag the second time.

He failed.

“Fufu, watching you choke and cough is indeed hilarious~” Break chuckled. He was unsure if Gilbert even heard him.

“Sorry,” Gilbert murmured, taking a third hit from the joint. And although the smell and taste weren’t too pleasant, the feeling washing over his was definitely something he could get used to.

“You’re welcome,” Break grinned sarcastically, taking the joint back and helping himself to a couple more puffs before passing it back to the other.

Gilbert, fairly certain he was reaching his limit now, took another hit, the smoke filling his lungs as he breathed in, and then out, exhaling through partially parted lips. The joint, pinched between his thumb and middle finger, was beginning to burn away.

By the time Break and Gilbert finished the joint, they were both pretty high, albeit Gilbert was significantly _more_ inebriated.

“Ah, are you feeling better now?” Break asked, tilting his head back towards the sky. Whether the floaty feeling was due to the weed or the swing, he was relaxed, and content.

“Thank you,” Gilbert muttered, incoherently. It made Break chuckle, because it wasn’t exactly an answer to the question he asked, but he’d take it as a yes nonetheless.

The next five minutes passed in silence.

“Can I tell you something?” Gilbert drawled, breaking the silence.

Break froze. He shouldn’t take advantage of the fact Gilbert was intoxicated, but at the same time, he wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to learn something the other would _never_ share whilst sober in a million years.

Swinging idly, his gaze fixed on the horizon, Break hummed. “Go on.”

“You… you can’t tell anyone…” Gilbert drawled, at which point his words were barely decipherable.

“I won’t. Promise~” Break chimed. He had to confess: his heart was racing. What on _earth_ would Gilbert have been hiding for _so long_?

“Well…” he started, hesitant in his slurred words. “I thought I was over it. I-I’ve been with Oz for… for so long. But now we’ve… broken up, I-I’ve remembered again.” He paused, inhaled a shaky breath, and then continued. “I like… Break. I have for… for ages.”

Break failed to think of a response.

_Ah._

_I see_.

“Hm…” he hummed.

Gilbert tilted his head downwards, towards the ground, a sad, almost self-loathing expression spread across his face. “Don’t tell Break, please…”

Internally, Break couldn’t help but snicker, but his words still came out nonchalant. “Why don’t you want Break to know, hm?”

“He’ll laugh at me…” Gilbert sulked, shuffling the dirt around with his feet. “Besides… Break won’t feel the same about me.”

“How come?”

“Well… Break likes girls, right?”

Once again, Break was speechless.

“Ah, Gilbert,” he chuckled, swirling a random strand of hair round with his finger. “You needn’t worry about that.”

“Huh…?” It took ten seconds for Gilbert to even catch up with the conversation. “…why?”

“Hm. Because Break is gay, you know.”

The second he heard those words (albeit a few seconds after they’d been spoken), Gilbert’s mouth dropped open. Then, he sniffed, before a stream of drunken, high-induced tears began pouring from his eyes. “R-Really?”

Break smiled. “Really.”

He didn’t mind that he’d just told Gilbert that. He didn’t mind that _Gilbert_ – a drunk, high Gilbert, at that – was the first person ever he’d come out to.

Because, looking at Gilbert now…

He wouldn’t remember a _word_ of this conversation by tomorrow.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! please feel free to drop your thoughts! anyone want a sequel cuz i kind of like this AU and wouldn't mind writing the next morning?


End file.
